I’m not sure I even spelled that word right or even using it right for that matter.
I do the whole praying thing, go to church thing, try to find the positive thing in every situation, love making bible verse media, and truly believe that if Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior then I got the ticket to heaven because of grace.
But every once in a while, like today, are those moments where I feel like spilling my guts on my blog about what I think the most important things are in life.
If you haven’t been reading my blog and don’t want to check out some previous personal posts, let me give you a summary:
My mom is dying of diabetes, congestive heart failure and is on dialysis three times a week.
For the past year, the doctor’s have been keeping her alive (thank you Lord for modern technology) and in May 2014 we were told that there is not much more they can do but keep her comfortable.
She’s had a total of seven heart attacks (that we know of) small, but as the doctor described to us, every single one of them damaged her heart just a little bit more, and two of them (TWO OF THEM) happened yesterday morning.
She’s at home now and is planning on going to see my kids (three of her grandchildren) this afternoon – just like a regular Tuesday.
I have been putting off many of the tasks as the eldest of two children that involve getting things ready for my mother’s eventual funeral. It’s been challenging to say the least to do this, as the human side of me doesn’t want to face death.
The believer side of me knows where she’s going, so what am I afraid of?
Yesterday’s phone call from my mother woke me up from my silent denial. My amazing & awesome husband is going to go with me to the funeral home I have picked out to talk to a funeral director and hopefully walk out with a plan. We’re doing that this week.
I’ve put this off long enough.
The reality is, the more I get done now, the more grieving I can do later.
So what’s the most important things in life right now?
My answer is this: Keep having the same awesome, perfect days.
“What’s a perfect day?” you ask.
For me, it’s enjoying the sweet faces of youth I am blessed to be called mommy by. It’s the ability to call my mother and check-in-on-her. It’s the positive & encouraging Facebook post someone posted that spoke to me or tagged me in a photo. It’s the fact I have a job, healthy children, an amazing husband, a terrific family, a wonderful church and the cutest nephews and niece any auntie would ask for.
It’s my life I’ve been given for as long as I’ve got.
It’s the crazy, dependent parents. It’s the guy who cut me off in traffic that I said a little prayer for so he doesn’t hurt somebody. It’s my four-year old’s tears because she didn’t get the happy meal she asked for.
I got picked to do this job of wife, mother, daughter, sister & friend in this world, here and now.
It’s all perfect. It’s routine, normal, peaceful, perfection that I always dreamed of.
I know the time is coming for the drama. I know the time is coming when I’m going to have to deal with death for both my parents and so many others – if I make it that long.
But to me, that’s all a part of this perfect life – so I can get to heaven and be with all the others that have become before me and we can talk about the perfect lives we had.
It’s all I need to make the most of every day.