I had a great day at work, a great morning and evening with my children, and got some things done around the house.
But, I’ve got issues.
I’ve got baggage from the past I can’t let go and I want to know why.
I’ve been soul searching lately. I’ve been trying to find out what makes me excited to think about the future.
Well for me, the future generally means the next two months.
We have a master calendar in our dining room that shows the next two months. Right around my birthday in late August, I start planning for my two oldest children’s birthday parties (late October & early November), ask my children what they want to be for Halloween, plan for Halloween activities and find out when Thanksgiving day is because in the past we have had Thanksgiving at our home and I want to plan for it.
It’s August when I do this.
It’s now September as I write this.
My children’s birthdays have been planned – one at the end of October and one at the beginning of November with Halloween in the middle.
My children have decided on what their Halloween outfits are going to be. I am in the process of getting them and purchasing them.
Did I mention I have issues because I know I do.
Today, I wondered why I do this.
I wondered why because I read about people who don’t do these things and I know I seem like one of those people that-have-everything-together.
There was a lady at church who was interviewed as part of the sermon this past week and one of her comments struck a chord with me. She said that she didn’t do Pinterest so that she could do everything else she had to get done in a day and that it’s unrealistic expectations on women to be able to do everything.
As much as I agree with that, my personality is to get things done.
It’s what I do and have done since I was an 8-year old girl taking care of my 7-year old brother as latch-key kids. I had a hard working mom and a father that was there one day and gone the next if he had a fight with my mom. I had dreams of marrying a rich man when I grew up and having two boys and a fantastic day job making a ton of money so all my needs were met and I never had to stand in a food line like my mom did to get hard cheese and beans for free.
So far, every child hood dream has come true for me. Definitely not in the way I’ve planned it, but they have come true.
I want to assure you that I don’t have everything together.
But I am trying.
I’m not kidding. I am trying to have everything together.
That’s the only thing I can think of. Maybe, just maybe, I am trying to have everything together so I get to look forward to the accomplishments that happen. That’s part of my motivation to continue to improve myself on a daily basis.
Thanks for reading my thoughts. I plan on continuing this discussion on subsequent blog posts. The next one I’m planning for this series of personal posts is on letting “my stuff” go.