#Ds40By40 – My New 40th Birthday Goal

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Selfies from my 4 mile (or more) runs...The big 4-0.

Some would say that this is the time individuals have a mid-life crisis.

Some would say that the time one turns “40” is now like turning “30” was 30-years ago.

For me, I recall my mom turning 40 years old (now 30-years ago) and how she was not looking forward to it.

My parents were still together, and still fought with one another religiously over everything when I turned 10.  There was no sign of diabetes, my mom struggled to keep her weight in check, (she was always a yo-yo dieter,) and she was in the midst of trying to raise two children on primarily one income.

Turning the age of 40 for my mom was a struggle.

Thank you Lord for where I’m at.

I don’t have to struggle the way my mom did and for that I am thankful.

For me lately, getting close to 40 has been looking at the future.  What do I want to do to have a more meaningful, fulfilling, Lord-centered life, that includes all the fun things that this life has to offer?

The answer to that question has lately been ‘Things I know I don’t want.’  That discussion will be in a future blog post.

But in the case of being able to answer what I don’t want, I have been able to make real goals of what I do want to do in the future.


Today is July 1, 2016.

I have intentionally been running four (4) or more miles since April 30th to celebrate my upcoming 40th birthday.  As of today, I have ran 4 or more miles 25 times. So, between now and my birthday in late August, I will intentionally run 4 miles or more (at least) 15 more times.  I have over 40-days to do this and I’m going to try to finish that goal well before my birthday.

I’m finally putting this goal out there for everyone to see.  If I make it, I make it, and if I don’t, well, at least I get to say, I ran xx miles or xx times of 4 miles or over.  That’s what I’m going to focus on.  That’s how I do it folks.  I look towards completing the goals so that at the end, I’m able to say –

Look how far I’ve come….

Thanks for stopping by as always and have a great (American) 4th of July!

I use protein for my after-run shakes by GNC.

Most of my running outfits are from Kohl’s.

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A Letter to My Mother

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IMG_6279[1]Dear mom,

It’s been a year since your passing.

I believe you’ve been able to see all the goings-on with your family as they bring joy, and I know there’s no tears in heaven.

Life without you has been very different, and you are very much missed.

My children all have photos of you in his/her respective rooms, something that they asked me to do after you passed, and although I wasn’t ready to look at your beautiful face in those photos, they wanted to do it everyday.

When I tuck them in bed each night it is I who am blessed to be able to look at those photos and recall the wisdom you passed onto me with your love – your unconditional love that I took for granted all the years I got to spend with you.

Thank you for teaching me everything I needed to know to “make it” in this world.

I won’t ever be able to demonstrate love like you and I can only hope to strive to be half the person you were with that gift you had.

There are bits and pieces of memories that flood back to me now and then, and even though I may shed a tear because I am no longer able to share more memories with you, the blessings I receive of memories bring me nothing but smiles, joy and hope.

I praise the Lord that somehow through Him you have been able to whisper things to me, including the fact that you are proud of me that I run and am taking care of myself.

Please continue to plead with the Lord to work on softening my father’s heart, as it has been through so much in the past year.

Thank you for continually praying for me and my brother when you were here.  I have no doubt that it was because of those prayers that I am able to write this letter to you today, and share with my family the wisdom, grace, and love that the Lord blesses me with that you passed onto me.

I will be forever grateful to the Lord that he chose you to be my mother, knowing that only you were the one that could pray for me and watch me do the things that I had to do (including mistakes) in order to be the person I am today.

I know I’ll be seeing you in the future, and as you prayed the same sentiments before me, I continue to pray your prayer that the long life ahead of me be filled with Christ-centered thoughts, love, hope and peace.

I love you and miss you,

D’Andra


Here is my mom’s tribute on You Tube.


The blog post that never was….

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Hi!

How are you all doing?

Me – I am uh, dealing.

This post is to commemorate “the blog post that never was.”

Here’s a couple screen shots of it.

Blog post that wasn't1 Blog post that wasn't2
The reason it didn’t get finished or published was because my mom passed away in Week Three of January, on January 16, 2015 to be exact.

In that blog post, I explain how emotionally exhausted I am.

I go over my thoughts on how I was terrified when my mom fell for the second time in a week, and wasn’t able to pick herself up off the floor or get to a phone for hours.  I wasn’t even in town to pick her up off the floor myself.

The week was crazy, there’s no doubt about that.

My brother and I were able to be there on Friday morning when my mom passed.  It was – dare I say it in writing – almost beautiful.


See, when you are a believer, there is nothing in this world that can save you.  It’s all from another place.  It’s all from the spiritual world that our souls go to as we pass through this world.  This is what I know and feel with all my being.

I will see my mom again.

Her not here on this planet to suffer any longer is her reward for a lifetime of service to the Most High.  She gets to hang out with her mom, her mother-in-law, her sister, her brothers, and so many others that have come before us who believed in Jesus Christ.

I’m actually kind-of jealous, but I know I have work here to do and I certainly don’t want my time to come yet.

But you know what else –

It’s really sucks to not have her here too.

My brother and I can agree on that every time we see each other.

I wanted to start to blog again.  I spoke with the doctor yesterday and he said the more times I tell my story, the easier it will get to move on.

With that, I’d like to say that I’m back.  Not to normal, because that’s not possible anymore, but hopefully I’ll get used to my new normal.

I’ll be seeing you. <Big virtual hug.>


Week Two Round Up of Fun and Crazy

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It’s already the second weekend of the year and there is still so much to do.

My hope for you is that you feel like you’ve hit some marks getting towards your goals and you’ll see the next week through with the Lord’s guidance.

Here’s what my family has been up to this week.

It’s been a long week.  I am tired.  If I didn’t take a few photos and write a few notes here and there, I would have only remembered the last few days.

Starting on Sunday, January 4, my husband and oldest were the only ones who went to church.  We had been fighting pink eye this week and we didn’t want to give it to anyone at church, just in case so me and the two youngest stayed home.

Week Two of Fun and CrazyAfter church, my oldest asked to do finger knitting again, so he sat next to me while I crocheted a yellow hat for my youngest.  My youngest had been asking me for a Minion hat and I hope to finish it this coming week.

On Tuesday, I got the chance to journal a bit and I wrote out my favorite form of motivation.  After much thought, I realized that it is ‘seeing progress.’  The top three things that motivate me are (1) An organized system, or one that has been proven to work, (2) beauty in the system – meaning that when it looks simple and pretty (think gorgeous Pinterest pins and set-ups), and (3) accountability.  When I know that someone is checking on me, I get motivated to do what I was asked to do or supposed to do, such as an assignment at work or having the personal trainer ask me how healthy I ate during the week.

Why do I mention this?

Because sometimes I write stuff down, and it’s not necessarily in the blog format.  I carry around with me a journal of all types, the one seen in my lap while I crochet.  There are crochet patterns in there, notes to self, random brain dumps, to-do lists, etc. all just to get it out of my head.  I need it and it works for me.

I wrote a blog post on Tuesday, just because I felt like it.  It’s call A Day in My Life – Lately. Over it I go over what seems like the mundane things, but why they are important.  I know I have an affect on others lives.  I am privileged to know so many people and want them to know they are important.  This is something I hope to pass onto my children – that they are here for a purpose, even if it was to put a toilet seat on their mothers potty or take photos of a roadway.

Wednesday was where it was wonderfully calm.  I was still stressed out but my children and husband needed me and I was there for them.  I don’t even remember what happened that day.  That in itself is pretty sad but at the same time, I am glad for the mundane.

Thursday the 8th we had a Cub Scout Den meeting after work.  Oldest at a Bear Den Meeting - Req. 5aWe covered two parts of Requirement No. 5, part a, do a poster on your favorite animal and part e, name and talk about an animal that is extinct.

My oldest has always enjoyed learning about the caiman.  He’s written papers on the caiman before and today was no exception.  Below is a close up of the poster and I posted this particular photo on Instagram.

Caimans - Look at the drawing!Look at that drawing!  I just think it’s so wonderful that he put so much detail work into his caiman picture.  I didn’t notice until we got home that he even turned the letter “c” in the name of “caimans” to make it look like another caiman by drawing legs on it.  Where does he come up with these things?  Children are just amazing.

We’re planning a Den outing on January 19th to go to the zoo together to meet another couple requirements for part 5.  I’m looking forward to it.

Friday came and I had planned to work out in the field again.  I left the office in my truck around 830 AM and was at my destination by about 9.  I spent all morning in the field and got a phone call from my mom at 1055 AM.  She sounded exhausted and told me that she had fallen and couldn’t reach the phone until just then.  I told her to call 911 to go the hospital because she mentioned that she thought her hand was broken.  She asked me if I could come pick her up and I told her that by the time I got back to my car and switched it out, it would be at least an hour.

This was my mom's hand on Friday in the hospital.  DeAndrasCrafts.com

This was my mom’s hand on Friday in the hospital. DeAndrasCrafts.com

Long story short.

My dad ended up going over there to pick her up.  After refusing to go the hospital at least three times, my father told her that even if she went to dialysis, they would have sent her to the hospital.  She finally went and was at the ER before 1230 PM.  She didn’t have a broken hand – it ended up being a really bad bruise and given her complications, it will look like that for quite a long time.

She had spent all morning on the floor, not near a phone.  It’s terrifying to me and I wasn’t even there.

We are praying that the Lord guides my brother and I as well as the doctors to do what is best for her, obviously trying to grant her wishes.

This is why I am tired.  She spent over 24-hours in the ER.  Did I mention she went to the ER last week?  I found out this makes hospitals look bad.  You know, when patients go back to a hospital because of the same exact thing that happened a week before.

She couldn’t get up from a fall. 

Her potassium levels are too high for her to get out right now.  I am grateful the doctors and nurses are taking care of her.

Seriously though.  This is emotionally exhausting.  This is what reminds me that I can’t do it all.

I’m going to go see her tomorrow.  I also took off next Tuesday just to take her to an appointment, assuming she’s out of the hospital.

This was part of the crazy week I had.

Again, it wasn’t all bad and exhausting.

Saturday I went to a day long ladies retreat and left feeling spiritually alive.  I was still exhausted from spending the night-owl hours in the ER with my mom, but I felt better and know that God has a purpose and a plan for everything.  My wonderful husband took care of the kiddos that day and they went to a birthday party.

I came home and found out my mom was still in the ER. As I write this it’s Sunday the 11th.  I’ll post more about the day itself next week but I will say my mom now has her own room and will be there through Monday.

I hope you had a great week.  I’m going to try to go to bed now. Big hug!