The Most Important Things in Life

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2Corinthians 1:13-14I’m not a very good theologian.

I’m not sure I even spelled that word right or even using it right for that matter.

I do the whole praying thing, go to church thing, try to find the positive thing in every situation, love making bible verse media, and truly believe that if Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior then I got the ticket to heaven because of grace.

But every once in a while, like today, are those moments where I feel like spilling my guts on my blog about what I think the most important things are in life.

If you haven’t been reading my blog and don’t want to check out some previous personal posts, let me give you a summary:

My mom is dying of diabetes, congestive heart failure and is on dialysis three times a week.

For the past year, the doctor’s have been keeping her alive (thank you Lord for modern technology) and in May 2014 we were told that there is not much more they can do but keep her comfortable.

She’s had a total of seven heart attacks (that we know of) small, but as the doctor described to us, every single one of them damaged her heart just a little bit more, and two of them (TWO OF THEM) happened yesterday morning.

She’s at home now and is planning on going to see my kids (three of her grandchildren) this afternoon – just like a regular Tuesday.

I have been putting off many of the tasks as the eldest of two children that involve getting things ready for my mother’s eventual funeral.  It’s been challenging to say the least to do this, as the human side of me doesn’t want to face death.

The believer side of me knows where she’s going, so what am I afraid of?

Yesterday’s phone call from my mother woke me up from my silent denial.  My amazing & awesome husband is going to go with me to the funeral home I have picked out to talk to a funeral director and hopefully walk out with a plan.  We’re doing that this week.

I’ve put this off long enough.

The reality is, the more I get done now, the more grieving I can do later.

So what’s the most important things in life right now?

My answer is this: Keep having the same awesome, perfect days.

“What’s a perfect day?” you ask.

For me, it’s enjoying the sweet faces of youth I am blessed to be called mommy by.  It’s the ability to call my mother and check-in-on-her.  It’s the positive & encouraging Facebook post someone posted that spoke to me or tagged me in a photo.  It’s the fact I have a job, healthy children, an amazing husband, a terrific family, a wonderful church and the cutest nephews and niece any auntie would ask for.

It’s my life I’ve been given for as long as I’ve got.

My life is perfect - just for meIt’s perfect for just for me.

It’s the crazy, dependent parents.  It’s the guy who cut me off in traffic that I said a little prayer for so he doesn’t hurt somebody.  It’s my four-year old’s tears because she didn’t get the happy meal she asked for.

I got picked to do this job of wife, mother, daughter, sister & friend in this world, here and now.

It’s all perfect.  It’s routine, normal, peaceful, perfection that I always dreamed of.

I know the time is coming for the drama.  I know the time is coming when I’m going to have to deal with death for both my parents and so many others – if I make it that long.

But to me, that’s all a part of this perfect life – so I can get to heaven and be with all the others that have become before me and we can talk about the perfect lives we had.

I’m alive.

It’s all I need to make the most of every day.

Day Two of “The Hustle” – Why?

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Gratitude-EmersonThe second day of hustle for me.  The question posed to the “hustlers” (I really do love that term) is “Why?”

Why are you doing what you’re doing?

Day2 - Why do I need to Hustle?  My mom has been sick for a long time.  This photo was taken in March of 2013 and it’s of me and my brother sitting next to our mom, as she received her very first dialysis treatment.

My "Why" I need to hustle...

Here it is as I write this, almost exactly one year later, I am trying to prepare for her eventual passing.

So in yesterday’s post, I described that my one goal for the next thirty days is to complete her advanced written directive.

I’ve learned so much about California law in the past couple weeks, thanks to unforeseen craziness on my mom’s side of the family.  I got to speak to a lawyer for the first time ever in my life and she informed me that because my parents are still married, even though they haven’t been together for 20+years (isn’t that a crazy part of life) that my father would be in charge of her final wishes if she was unable to communicate.

Before I continue, the facts you need to know are:

(1) My father is my children’s nanny and I see him every week day.

(2) My parents get along very well and see each other about three times a week because my father helps me with her needs (getting food, etc.) besides bringing her to my home to see her grandkids on non-dialysis days.

(3) My parents live in two separate places.

And (4) My mother is legally blind and is dying of congestive heart failure, kidney failure, and goes to dialysis three times a week.  She’s had both stints put in her arteries and open heart surgery.  One year ago, one doctor told us that she probably doesn’t have more than 5-years to live.

Why am I going to help my mom complete her advanced directive in the next 28-days:

My mom is dying.  The Lord knows when she is going to pass, but she doesn’t want my father to be the one to make decisions for her if she cannot communicate her wishes.

[Big sigh.]

Just writing that above sentence made the in-denial-monkey come back…..

But –

I am thankful, that this is the biggest thing I have to deal with right now.  Thank you Lord.